
Every once in a while the media will pick up on the loss of tech jobs in America to India and other areas of the world. The clamor will be politicized, used to make some off topic point and then die down. It will die down because the reality sets in that no one is really losing their jobs and frankly those that do suck at it.
I use support, a frigging lot. Given the choice between spending a few hours on the MS knowledgebase or slapping down $249 to brainstorm with a few folks that have access to the kb articles yet to be published, it's a no brainer. Besides if during this brain storming I solve the issue the fee is refunded. Out of the six support calls I've opened with MS this year I've only paid for two and come away with a weath of knowledge. They use Indian support and they are far, far, far better than the support MS had three years ago, American support.
RIM has Canadians and I like them as well. In fact I like Canadian support so much I dropped dealing with the chumps at Verisign and starting using Register.com a few years ago. Once more the company with American support lost. Verisign support always whined about their database and merging "the old one" to "the new one" like I give a rat's arse. I just wanted to transfer DNS settings and they wanted me to "register" on "the new database". Bloomberg uses Brits mostly and they were bad, got better and are now very bad. It’s not the tech support however as much as they assume you are trying to steal products and services, you are guilty until you prove your innocence and frankly I don’t time for that fucking shit. On a side note, the office myth is that I can reduce a support tech to tears and this did happen once with a Bloomberg tech. In fact they sent his boss over to complain but our managing partner tossed the guy out yelling, “I pay him to get things done, not for you to fucking like him. If you people liked him, I’d fire his ass”
Regardless to who supplies the support I made a rule a few years ago and the firm I work for supports it. We will not register for support nor will we use web based support. If we don't get a phone number for support we will not consider your product or service. (Yes I'm talking to you, Thomson folks, and I just got your contract and you STILL fucked it up... oh and you Juniper folks as well)
I could fill this rant with examples from Juniper, Blue Coat and scores of other American supported companies. The wait times, the idiots working tier 1, the expectation that my day is so empty I want to chat on and monitor a support website. But instead I will present an incident from this week.
I installed a product called Replistore. The goal is high availability for Exchange services in a non clustered multi site set-up. Now this goal had been achieved using a product called Double-Take, but in doing an annual review of my disaster prep plans I felt I could improve upon the two year old system in place. Two things drove this, advances in technology and the increased attention to DRP from our investor base. I used to could write the plan, shuffle it around the partners and compliance folks and get back to my office where I could wait all day on hold with Juniper Networks. But this year it's in our presentation, I have to meet investors, explain it to the SEC and I have to post it into various broker and investment bank questionnaires... all good as this attention gives me cause to adjust budgetary constraints... so back to the point. Instead of a 6 to 8 hour recovery time as spec'd previously I increased the disaster rollover to 1 to 2 hours. Double Space was no longer a fit and my candidates where a CA product and Replistor. Replistor was brought on deck by a would be consultant wanting a piece of my business, which I was at the time considering giving him.
American support, will talk as if they know, when they don't, they want office hours (9-5) and they have contempt for end users. Yet, somehow our media has presented us with an imagine that our streets are full of tattooed hackers that can access the net with teeth fillings and pierced gentials, walking around with laptops never needing charging and waiting to turn twenty four... when they will put on suits and work at geek squad should their IPO fail.
Consultant X, supplied me with the relistore product and I proceeded to install it at the DR site. He however gave me a whitepaper that was three years out of date. Calls to EMC (Replistore) were useless as they have a policy of not dealing with end users until the product is installed by a proper consultant. Oh did I mention the total cost of the product is over 20K? I admit this should have been a red flag. Consultant X supplied me his ID and I got the product installed. Now I have a 153 GB data store so I asked the consultant if I could transfer this via DLT with the EMC product. He did not know, and EMC could not tell him. We were to wait 24 hours.
Now, I've done this job long enough I should have known better, but we all get cocky and yes I admit sloppy at times. (I was doing a Friday night project on a Wednesday afternoon because I wanted to go to Hartford and get laid that weekend.) The first warning sign was when I was asked to create a new mail enabled public folder "ProspectusDelivery". While the public folders were available and functional I could not access the public folders from the Exchange system. I did a few checks and then dialed support. Working with the professional Indian tech it was discovered that an Active Directory value had been changed by the replistore product. A call to consultant X was met with "never heard of that, I'll call EMC in the morning". The pile of shit was growing bigger. It was noted that a new knowledge based concerning TCP.sys was coming out and I should apply a patch. This was done and a re-boot of the exchange system scheduled.
So, now I'm at home enjoying a nice glass of merlot and playing a few chords on my S08 when my Blackberry starts playing the only cord it knows. The frigging Exchange system dropped off the net. So I make the calls and head to bed early cause a 4 AM pick up was in works.
4:45AM - Sure enough I lost the SCSI boot drive on the server.
5:15AM - I'm back on the server and Exchange is happy, MTA up, SMTP up and stores mounted.
5:16AM - WTF Outlook can't find Exchange
5:17AM - Call to consultant X, message... not available.
5:18AM - Call to EMC, "I'm sorry you aren't in our database" I offer to pay any fee for support. "I'm sorry we aren't allowed to do that without your authorized consultant. I again call consultant, no answer... left message that he's no longer considered. Call EMC back ask to speak to whoever is running their support services, get a message machine. Call EMC back to tell them to get their head out from their arse as my Exchange system is down and if it's not up by 9AM I'm calling the New York Attorney General, Microsoft and the law office of WD&M. I'm told to hold.
5:45AM - I hang up and get to work. I knew the bastards have fucked with my AD so I went looking, I got a Indian MS tech on the phone and after 2 hours we found each and every change made by the piece of shit program from EMC and corrected them. Oh uninstalling the replistore product did not help as their programmers seem to have missed the class in which your uninstall process is to leave the system in the state it was in before your software was installed.
By 9AM I was up and running, people unaware of the event and another example of why American tech support is losing is logged into my knowledge base.
In a nutshell we need to focus on productivity, not talk about it. We need to act, not outline. We need to deliverer not sit on a high horse and brag about the view.
I had an intern that was a computer / business major at Columbia. He wanted to work with me. I asked him one day what he though of some traffic coming over a certain UDP in my IDP logs... he looked at the print out, raised his head and asked, "What's UDP"?
Oh as a bonus for putting up with this long story; if you have an Asterisk based VOIP system and create a trunk to VOIPDISCOUNT.COM, you can call all over the world for free. Aren’t misconfigured servers great?
(Regarding the image, it is from Google. I don't know if the guy sucks at support or not. I don't even know if he supports his own family. All I know is the image reflects what in my mind is a view of an American support professional... one of them anyway.((Anyone care to guess why he places his nuts in the middle of this CRT flux zone?)) Requests to remove photos will be honored. Except for that frigging lizard man arse that wants to see us all dead)
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